Dear Church,
One of the ongoing challenges of discipleship is learning how to hold firmly to truth while walking gently with one another.
Scripture never gives us permission to compromise God’s word. We are commanded to “contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints” (Jude 3). Truth matters (John 17:17). Doctrine matters (2 John 9). These things matter. At the same time, Scripture also warns us against trampling our brethren in the name of righteousness.
Paul addresses this tension in Romans 14, especially in matters of conscience, areas where faithful Christians may differ while still seeking to honor the Lord:
“Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions” (Romans 14:1).
Each believer stands before God:
“Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls” (Romans 14:4).
This does not make truth subjective. If we are honest with ourselves, we understand that it does mean that not every disagreement rises to the level of fellowship-breaking error. Some situations call for teaching and patience rather than pressure or some form of “unity” based on my opinion of something. For the sake of some readers, think about the discussions and disagreements that people have over celebrating different holidays. Consider the disagreements that brethren have over how many services there should be on a Sunday and throughout the week. What about disagreements over someone who views the gift of the Holy Spirit differently than you? Do not underestimate the destructive nature of how poorly these conversations can go. I want to challenge you to practice the principles of being quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).
Allow me to demonstrate something. If you are already writing out a reply while reading this article and you feel the need to post it within the same minute of you finishing this article, you are clearly not practicing James 1:19. You do not get a pass just because you feel like you are right.
“So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Romans 14:19).
There is a difference between contending for the faith and contending with our brethren. Sometimes it feels like we are getting into a boxing ring preparing for a battle. This is not how it should be with our brethren. If we are incapable of having a conversation without feeling the need to utilize ad hominem arguments, or just poor argumentation in general, then that conversation is best left alone. Wisdom tells me to not accept the invitation to every battle I am invited to.
Paul reminds us that conscience matters (Romans 14:22-23). What may be permissible for one Christian may be spiritually harmful for another. Love sometimes requires restraint:
“All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable… not all things edify” (1 Corinthians 10:23).
And we must never forget:
“Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies” (1 Corinthians 8:1).
It is possible to be technically right while still spiritually destructive. Knowledge alone does not make us right. If it is not applied, it is useless. We are called to tolerate one another, not by approving sin or error, but by bearing with weaknesses and growth. This bears repeating. We are called to tolerate one another. Some want to treat this as optional, but it is not optional. It is not negotiable. We do not approve or enable the practice of sin or teaching of error. We bear with the weakness of others and encourage growth.
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).
Tolerance here is not compromise. It is endurance. It is choosing patience over provocation. It is remembering that every Christian is still being shaped by Christ. Their shape may not be your shape currently. Their spiritual growth may not look like yours right now. We need to learn to be OK with that.
Paul gives a sobering warning:
“Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this, not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way” (Romans 14:13).
Standing for truth never gives us license to be harsh or careless with souls. Jesus modeled this balance perfectly. He never softened truth, yet He was gentle with those who struggled and firm with the proud. Truth and love are not rivals. They are partners.
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).
We need to be people who stand firmly on God’s word while walking faithfully with one another. May we protect unity without sacrificing conviction. May we teach rather than attack, correct with humility, and refuse to weaponize our own personal opinions.
Because the souls of others matter. Because unity matters. Because Christ is honored when His people love one another.